I (38F) am in a new relationship (51M) and his texts are starting to concern me

A Reddit user shared her concerns about her new boyfriend’s text messages, which are becoming increasingly alarming. His unexpected accusations and passive-aggressive tone are starting to feel excessive and leave her questioning the dynamics of their relationship. Read her story below.

‘ I (38F) am in a new relationship (51M) and his texts are starting to concern me’

My current boyfriend and I have been together since February and we’ve had a few arguments but generally things are good. What I can’t wrap my head around our some of the text messages that he sends me. They come out of nowhere and feel a little nuts to me. I don’t know if I’m the one being a j**k here but I don’t know what to make of them. I’ve told him it puts me off but he doesn’t seem to hear me.

This is an example of one he sent today after he video called at lunch. I answered but he hung up and wouldn’t answer when I called back. I left a message saying I guess he didn’t have service and couldn’t answer but just call back if it’s important.

His reply was “What would b the point in answering after seeing u are dressed make up on and hair done? That tells me u have been up for hours and in that time I guarantee that ur phone has been in ur hand a lot and never once did u have the desire or want to call or text and say hello good morning I love u or even f**k off for that matter. And that makes me feel like s**t to b real honest. So I didn’t answer. “

5 minutes later I got this “And because you still have nothing to say, that just tells me I was right”. This kind of thing is getting more frequent. I feel like it’s kind of excessive but he says it feels like I don’t love him. I don’t even know how to respond honestly.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

999zeus −  RUN!!!! This is a very very insecure and controlling man. He will make your life a living hell.. Run please

jadeypie33 −  NOPE. I promise things will get worse if you don’t get away from this person.

MathematicianNo4633 −  This is bad in any relationship, but in a relationship with a man who is in his 50’s and should be emotionally matured by now…break up immediately!

Mija512 −  I’m taking the advice here and ending it. He sent me another message that just doubled down on the crazy and aggressive so I’m done. You guys are right. He moved in with me about a month ago and I’m real nervous about having this conversation with him in person so I just packed a bag of all my important stuff and I’m going to go stay with a friend.

I’m sending him a message that he has until Monday to move out. There are some extenuating circumstances that make giving him a 30 day notice unnecessary. I didn’t really know what else to do but I’ve seen him get angry before and I don’t want to be at the receiving end of that.

ErnestBatchelder −  I feel like it’s kind of excessive. You are underreacting. It’s batshit possessive irrational behavior that there isn’t even a sliver of a reason worth engaging him over. You can’t reason with a nutburger hell-bent on being upset.

VirgoLuv87 −  Leave that older man alone. He has major issues. Now you see why he was single at his big age.

ohmydearlucia −  He sounds p**cho, honestly. That’s so angry and manipulative.

TempleofSpringSnow −  He’s 51? That’s embarrassing. Get away from that guy.

GoldAlfalfa −  This ladies and gentlemen is the result of unaddressed toxic narcissistic personality after 50 years of not healing. OP run and anyone reading save yourself before you’re like that for your whole life.

Bellissimabee −  Sounds childish and weird, I’d get out now.