My (26F) fiancé (27M) gave my brother (28M) a loan. He’s refusing to pay it back and now my parents hate my fiancé for threatening to take him to court and want me to break up with him.

A woman shared the challenging situation she’s facing after her fiancé gave her brother a loan that he refuses to repay. Her fiancé, upset by her brother’s degrading remarks, is threatening legal action. This has caused a rift with her parents, who are pressuring her to break up with him.

While her sister supports the fiancé, tensions are escalating, and he has said he doesn’t want her parents at their wedding. She is torn between her fiancé, whom she loves, and her family, whom she doesn’t want to alienate. Read the full story and weigh in below.

‘ My (26F) fiancé (27M) gave my brother (28M) a loan. He’s refusing to pay it back and now my parents hate my fiancé for threatening to take him to court and want me to break up with him.’

My brother is the golden child. All our life our parents have handed him things and have conditioned me and my sister to do the same. So, when my brother asked my fiancé for a loan, I stupidly didn’t tell him not to give him it. The thing is my brother never pays anyone back. I’ve given him £5k+ before and I’ve never seen a penny back.

My brother was supposed to pay my fiancé back last week, and to no one’s surprise he claimed he didn’t have the money. I think my fiancé would’ve just dropped it but my brother said some pretty degrading things about my fiancé and his family and their financial situation to his face. He then made a tasteless joke about how they (my family) should ask him for a bride price.

Turns out, my fiancé is smarter than the rest of us and had my brother sign an agreement before he gave him the money. He’s now threatening to take him to court if he doesn’t repay him the money by the end of October. My parents are furious because my brother definitely doesn’t have the money to repay him and they think my fiancé is greedy and selfish.

They’ve been demanding I break up with him since because they don’t want someone like that in the family. My sister is egging my fiancé on because my brother has taken a lot of money from her before too and she thinks he deserves this. My SIL has been begging me to make my fiancé drop it since they really can’t afford it and they just had a baby.

My fiancé said he doesn’t want any of them (excluding my sister) coming to our wedding. I don’t want to break up with my fiancé, but I also don’t want to get married without my parent’s being there. I know they’re in the wrong here, but I feel like banning my parents who never took the money is a bit extreme. What can I do to make them all come to an agreement?

Check out how the community responded:

[Reddit User] −  You can’t make them come to an agreement. What you can do is come to terms with the fact that your parents would rather ruin your future happiness than stand back and let your brother face the consequences of his actions like an adult for once, let alone actually call him to account for behaving like an a**hole,

and decide what you want to do about that. And since it sounds like you don’t actually want to break up with your fiance, that means telling them you don’t want to hear another word about that even if it means they won’t be coming to the wedding.

MeowMita −  You’re stuck in a loop where you think if you do what your parents ask of you, you’ll get some of the affection your brother hoarded. But it sadly won’t happen.

ChloeBee95 −  Your fiancé is the only decent person in this situation. You should’ve warned him, your parents shouldn’t be enabling your brother and your SIL needs to realise what a waste of space her baby daddy is. You should be siding with your fiancé and considering suing your brother for the money he owes you as well. Otherwise you’re just encouraging his behaviour because there’s no negative consequences to his actions.

cooking_bacon_naked_ −  He absolutely should take him to court. Sorry your parents are enabling his poor behavior.

Throwrefaway19111986 −  Holy f**k. He lent him 15k? Why on Earth would he do that? He needs to take him to court so they can get on a payment plan. Either way, your fiance is going to take him to court whether you are with him or not.

ChalkButter −  It sounds like your brother is a horrible person. Kudos to your fiancé for making brother sign a promissory note. Why are you willing to side with your family at all? Frankly, it sounds like your parents and brother treat you like trash.

ughnamesarehard −  Hold on, your parents want you to end your relationship and your response is “but it’s not fair to uninvited them to the wedding!”. Get a grip. Seriously.

[Reddit User] −  OP the 5k that your brother took from you wasn’t enough? Your brother had to go to your fiance for another 15k? And refuses to pay it back at all??? I would be on your fiance’s side since no one it on his side in terms of your parents. Stop enabling your brother to ruin your financial happiness.

That money could have been a down payment on a house. That money could have covered your wedding expenses and now it is just gone. Why are you letting your brother walk all over your family that you are creating with you fiance?

AuntyVenom −   So, when my brother asked my fiancé for a loan, I stupidly didn’t tell him not to give him it.. I mean, why? I feel like banning my parents who never took the money is a bit extreme. Your parents are backing your s**tty brother and want you to leave your fiance because he is standing up for himself. You sound kind of affected by your family’s s**tty mindset, OP.

Your parents should be on your fiance’s side because he is the victim here, and now you’re not even backing him as he reasonably decides he doesn’t want them to come to your wedding. I’d tell him to leave your relationship because you and your family do not sound functional.

jadeowltea −  Are you getting married to your fiance, or are you getting married to your family? Speaking from experience, your fiance will grow to resent you if you keep choosing your family over him and your lives together. You are failing your marriage and you’re not even married yet! Sorry for being harsh, but you need some tough love!

Should the fiancé stand his ground, or is there a way to resolve the conflict without jeopardizing the family dynamic? How can the woman navigate this delicate situation and maintain relationships with both her fiancé and her family? Share your advice and thoughts below!