Update 2 my ex girlfriend (21F) spent the night at a random guys house.

A Redditor shares an update on the aftermath of discovering his girlfriend spent the night at another guy’s house. With conflicting emotions and her insistence on reconciliation, he faces a difficult decision about the future of their relationship. Read the full story below.

‘ Update 2 my ex girlfriend (21F) spent the night at a random guys house.’

Sorry for making another post, but I’ve been bombarded with messages asking for details, so here’s a quick update.

After I texted her about ending things, she freaked out. She kept saying things like, “No, you’re not breaking up with me,” “I didn’t do anything,” and “What are you even saying? We’re still together.” She told me she’s cutting her trip short and flying home early.

She’s also been blowing up my phone—calling me around 100 times during what would’ve been our “morning FaceTime call.” I declined every one of them. Honestly, a part of me wanted to be petty and tell her, “I had a girl in my bed, and we’re eating pancakes,” but I decided against it because that’s just not the energy I want to have.

Now I’m stuck wondering—should I even talk to her when she gets back, or should I just ignore her and move on? Regardless of whether or not she cheated, I feel like being in bed with someone else crosses a line. It’s not okay in my book, and I’m not sure I can move past it.

What would you do in my shoes? Should I give her a chance to explain or just let it go and be done with it?

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Barsoomisreal −  I can already hear OP’s resolve cracking. When she comes back, and pleads to make it right, just close your eyes and picture her curled up in bed with some other guy. That should be enough to firm your resolve and make the right choice.. Best of luck!

shipcapitan −  Ask yourself this: If you went to a club, met a girl, went home with her, were in bed with her, and lied to your girlfriend about it, how would your girlfriend react? It doesn’t matter if she cheated or not.

She crossed the boundaries of your relationship while drunk, then again while sober, then lied about it, then tried to shame you into being okay with it. This is not the kind of girlfriend you want to commit years of your life to.. **Cut contact and move on.**. —.

SurnaLynn −  I think you did the right thing. I saw a reply on your original post that said something about viewing dating as a sort of interview for compatibility. Even if your ex didn’t cheat, she did something that you don’t deem acceptable in monogamous relationships and *lied* to you about it when she claimed she didn’t want to get on FaceTime because she looked “ugly”.

You view it as a deal breaker so it is. End of story. I am kind of like you in the sense of being somewhat “needy” (or codependent in my case – working on that in therapy, btw) and have dated partners that did really horrible things and blamed it on me being needy.

In reality, there is someone out there that doesn’t mind me wanting to be in contact with them often (not all day because that’s ridiculous but at least once a day)- I just haven’t found them yet.

NMkyqRM73S5Vsbjl −  Contrary to what others have said, I’d consider replying. Only to say, “I stand by what I said, and flying back here won’t change my mind.” I say this because she’ll show up to your house otherwise, and you don’t need to deal with that. You’ve made the right call here, no doubt about that. And I wouldn’t recommend getting into a long text chain. But you’re in the position to finalise it here and now.

[Reddit User] −  I wanted to tell her that I had a girl in my bed and we’re eating pancakes but that’s petty af so I didn’t. Glad to see you took the high road. Yeah idk if I should talk to her when she gets back or just ignore her. I kind of just wanna be done with her.

Even if she didn’t cheat it’s not right to be in bed with someone else and stuff that’s not ok Just ignore her if you have made up your mind. Why would you want to talk to her if you don’t want to see her again? You’d just be gloating. It’s understandable that you’d be tempted to do so, but don’t. Just move on.

Gavroche15 −  My advice? Text her and tell her not to come back early. “SO, sorry I have been unresponsive, but since we are broken up I don’t think it is appropriate to continue talking. Don’t fly home early.

You acted single on your vacation so now you are single. You might as well enjoy what Miami has to offer, since there is nothing to discuss back here. Perhaps that nice guy would be up for another three way.

I can’t think of anything you could say that would make me change my mind. You were having breakfast in bed with a guy – clearly wrong. You were trying to hide him from me – clearly wrong. You lied about who was with you. You told me that no guys were allowed – but clearly that was a lie. You said you declined my facetime because you looked ugly – a bald faced lie.

You said he slept on the couch, but he was in bed with you – another lie (a guy doesn’t climb into bed with you to have breakfast unless he was already there). You said nothing happened. But something did happen.

You slept in another guys bed when you had a perfectly good hotel room. How much of an i**ot do you think I am? I deserve honesty and all I have gotten is lies. If you ever decide to be honest maybe I’ll listen. But at this point I doubt I would believe it. Goodbye.”

Edit: Thanks for the silver. And the three way line is pretty petty, I admit. So maybe exclude it.

JagsDontCare −  Just a guy who lost his wallet then found his wallet AMA.

alissa2579 −  So I’m just catching up. She goes on vacation, doesn’t book hotel rooms and sleeps at some random dudes house she met at a club. Yeah, something sounds fishy to me. You did the right thing by ending it. I’m not sure how she is going to spin a story to get out of this

thenightfox9 −  Hey man I was literally in a similar situation about a month ago. My girlfriend at the time slept over at a dudes house after a party he was hosting when I specifically told her not to and she still did it. Tried to lie to me about it.

I found out and she tried telling me that nothing happened. She slept with him and “enjoyed” it. I saw her text saying to him “I enjoyed our dream last night” dream meaning s**. So honestly don’t waste your time bro. She probably cheated on you and she’s not worth your time brother. You can do better than her!

[Reddit User] −  she acted like a dumb ass. She fucked this one up. its over. She failed at being a good spouse. I wouldnt let her figure out the right way to treat people on me. Let her make the next bone head mistake on someone else. Dont waste your time. Plenty of girls out there that dont have it in them to be complete trash humans.

When trust in a relationship is broken, even unintentionally, the path forward isn’t always clear. Would you confront her for closure or walk away? What advice would you give someone in this situation? Share your thoughts below.