Update – My ex tried to cut my implant out while I was asleep

A Reddit user shares a harrowing journey of survival and strength after discovering her fiancé’s terrifying behavior. Following a dispute about having another child, she woke up to him attempting to remove her birth control implant with a box cutter. Her decision to leave that night, supported by her family, marks the beginning of a complex and emotional path toward safety and rebuilding her life. Read the full story below to follow her courageous steps and the challenges she’s facing.

‘ Update – My ex tried to cut my implant out while I was asleep’

Essentially, my (now ex) fiancé did a complete 180 personality wise. Was so sweet and loving to both me and my son, until we fought about having another baby last night. He said horrible things and I was tired of fighting, so I took my Trazodone and went to bed. Woke up to him touching my arm implant birth control with a box cutter in his hand. Said he was doing me a favor, but I screamed at him to leave.

I ended up leaving last night with my son to stay at my mom’s. I was confused, shocked, hurt, scared. I still am… At seven this morning, my phone started buzzing like crazy – texts, calls, voicemails. All were from him, asking me where I went and when I was coming home. I didn’t respond. I just don’t even want to look at him or talk to him again.

He called my mom while we were both sitting in the kitchen discussing everything. She asked me if I wanted her to answer it. I said I just didn’t want to talk to him. My mom ended up answering and my ex was yelling, sounding panicky. He said I left with my son last night out of the blue and he’s worried, no mention of our fight.

He asked when my mom last heard from me and she lied and said last night. He made a noise over the phone, like an angry sigh and said he was going to keep searching for me, that he’s worried something bad has or will happen to me and my son.

When my mom hung up, she pulled me into a hug. I guess I had started crying and didn’t realize it. She was still hugging me when she asked how I wanted to proceed, if I was done with him for good. I said I was and she nodded and told me first thing was to go to the police (like a lot of you said).

I didn’t have any proof about the box cutter situation – it would come down to my word versus his. If he had even knicked me a little, I’d have a case against him, but since he technically didn’t hurt me, the detective said he’s seen cases similar to mine thrown out. The officer did bring up ex partes and suggested I get one for both me and my son immediately.

I went to the courthouse to get the paperwork filled out. I had to detail as much as I could remember from last night – every word and action. My mom helped me and we got them turned in and moved on to the next step – calling my landlord. I’ve been living in the same house for two years – the first year was a lease and now I pay month to month.

Everything is in my name and most of the furniture is mine. I told my landlord what was briefly going on and that I was putting in my thirty day notice (my mom has a guest room that she’s insisting I stay in). After getting off the phone with him, I called the utilities and closed my accounts – water, electric, gas, internet.

Next my mother asked me what I wanted to do about my belongings. I told her I don’t want to leave anything that’s mine — all important papers, knickknacks, clothes, furniture, all of it. I just didn’t know where to put it, so my mom suggested a storage unit. Once that was decided, we had to figure out when to start the move.

Mom ended up calling my two brothers and they both agreed to help me move, just give them a date and time. I told them definitely sometime this week and my eldest brother suggested a police presence, just in case. Think it’s called a civil standby? Idk, but I agreed.

By this point, it’s getting late in the day and I’m as drained as I can get. I just wanted to go curl up with my son and try to sort my thoughts out and calm down. The county clerk ended up calling me, telling me the judge granted my ex partes. She told me that I needed to come pick up paperwork, which had the court date on it.

She also mentioned ex-fiance would soon be served and told me I don’t have to see him again until we go to court, to make the ex partes into permanent restraining orders. She suggested lawyering up, but I’m officially burnt out on today. I’ll look into lawyers tomorrow, but tonight, after this update? It’s a cuddle in bed with my son night.

A couple things that I’ve seen repeated – why didn’t I leave right when ex started saying those awful things about my son. I honestly thought he didn’t mean them. He’s told my son he loves him before. Part of it was also shock, I guess. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing and that I was hearing it from someone who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

I didn’t think he truly had h**red in his heart and it never crossed my mind that he would hurt me or my son. He’s never even spanked my son. I just thought we needed a cooling off period, so I removed myself from the situation to take my meds and sleep, naively thinking things would be better in the morning.

People also questioned why I would even bother sticking around to try to talk things out and that’s a valid question that I don’t have a rational answer to. Part of me thought I was dreaming, I think, and the other part is the side of me that thinks everything equates to being my fault, like I was too mean during the fight, too stubborn to see things his way and try to understand his feelings.

Idk. It’s late. Everything feels surreal and I have this pit in my stomach that feels like dread. What if ex shows up at my mom’s house? I still haven’t returned his messages or phone calls and now he legally can’t contact me anyways. I’ve had two of my best friends call, saying ex called them. My younger brother (who I guess has always hated ex but I didn’t know that until today) said even he got a call. So far everyone is saying they don’t know anything, but I’m scared. Idk. I’m sorry. Just thought I’d update.

[UPDATE EDIT] Update to the update – so many people offered great advice that I’d never think of myself. I’ve been kind of heavily relying on my mom to guide me through this and keep me and my son afloat. I’ve also been given several things to read, which I am absolutely going to when I have some down time.

I appreciate every comment, from extremely helpful to well wishes and even the ones questioning the validity of this. To be honest and it’s a horrible cliche, but if it wasn’t happening to me, I probably wouldn’t jump to believing either. Sometimes I let my emotions get the best of me and I end up sounding either very clinical in my typing, or very unnecessarily dramatic.

So I get the mistrust. My update last night was written late, I was exhausted, but I wanted to let the people from my original post know — I took their advice and got out of there. My emotions have been so conflicting and chaotic, I’m surprised I was able to sound coherent, let alone like a “teenager writing fanfic”. I wish this was a fanfic. I could feel safe again.

My mom has been an absolute angel and I’ve shown her some of your comments, complimenting her. And she definitely deserves it! Never once did she make me feel I couldn’t be completely honest with her, she’s reopened her house to me (even though I moved out years ago). She’s really kept the ball rolling on everything with her organization skills.

She made a list and yesterday we followed that list to the letter. When I wanted to put stuff off, she’d gently remind me of what could happen if I paused. Ex could find me, hurt me, hurt my son, or anyone helping to protect me.

You all are very right and I’m ashamed to say I didn’t realize just how much support I have and what a tremendous family I have. A couple people mentioned to be careful if Ex finds out where I am — and my mom and brothers already had a plan for me.

They called it Round Robining – if Ex found me at mom’s, I’d flee to Eldest brother. If he finds me at Eldest brother, I’d temporarily stay with my younger brother. Really, I appreciate you all commenting that I’m doing things right and quick and how impressive it is, but that’s not my doing at all. That’s all on my family. They’re the extraordinary ones (there goes my fanfic cliches again) going above and beyond for me and my son.

Some of the comments that questioned my validity remarked that it was odd that I immediately went to Reddit to see what to do/how to feel. You’re all right, that it unusual, but not for me. I grew up when LiveJournal was a big thing, writing helps me organize my thoughts and I figured this community would help me understand… and I was right!

Another thing I want to address is Ex’s sudden change. I’m now wondering what to do for that. I don’t want him in my life still. But some of you mentioned a brain tumor or a psychotic break, so I’m worried. I sent Ex’s mother and father a message this morning saying I broke off the engagement and left, but both messages are still unread.

I don’t know what to say to them, in regards to Ex’s health. Will they be mad for daring to say this might be a breakdown? Will they actually take him to get tests ran? And if they even tried, would he willingly go? I don’t know. I guess I need a little more advice about how to broach that.

There’s more to address and I even had a consultation with a lawyer today, but I can go into that another time. I’m still processing everything. It still doesn’t feel real, it feels like a badly written teenage fanfic, to be honest. Idk. Sorry for rambling again, guys. I just wanted to let you know I’m taking notes from your helpful suggestions, that I’m not ignoring you guys.

My mother took my son for ice cream and let me stay behind, which is why I decided to hop on Reddit and check on everything. One last thing, though. The AWARDS, I’m truly humbled and grateful for them. Some of them I had to click on to see what it meant and they’re all so sweet! I’m endlessly thankful for the awards, your comments, and your messages.. Thank you!. -. -. -. -. -. -. -. -. –

[UPDATE] When my ex was served his papers, he did not take it well. I had already blocked him on everything, but he took a picture of his paper and posted it on Facebook, with a message to me and my son. A mutually friend saw it (and that it contained my personal information) and screenshot it to let me know. After taking advice, I called the police to see if it was a break in the ex parte.

They made an incident report and told me I could pick it up the next day at the police station. They didn’t arrest him. My mother had already procured me a great lawyer, “A shark, which is what we need” – in her own words. I told my lawyer about the screenshot and he immediately put in, both his appearance on my behalf, and a motion for contempt of court, for breaking the ex parte and threatening me and my son.

Our original official court date isn’t until next week, but the Judge got us in early to deal with the screenshot. Ex showed up without a lawyer and I showed up with only my lawyer. Due to COVID, no extra people allowed in the court room.

I really wanted my mom there with me, but my lawyer (instead of sitting on the bench at the sides, reserved for lawyers) sat by me, kept himself between me and my ex at all times. A bailiff was there as well, I guess it’s standard procedure to have one in court.

My lawyer advised me to let him do all the talking, only answer questions when directed at me and answer them as succinctly as possible. Judge ended up giving Ex a warning, saying if he even mentions me or my son, he’d put him in jail 24 hours for every incident until the official court date. Ex was also ordered to pay my legal fees for the emergency session.

Friday, we got mine and my son’s possessions out of the house with massive help from friends and family. I knew Ex had to work Friday and we arrived (with a police officer, just in case) an hour after Ex should’ve been at work. We left anything that he could claim as his or that we’d bought together and I didn’t care about.

Most of the items went into two different storage units, from the same place. The reason we chose these storage units is they’re gated and locked at night. The items me or my son would need for everyday use went to my mom’s. Ex’s parents HAVE opened my messages now, but they still haven’t responded.

Lawyer said we’re still on for official court date next week and nobody has entered their appearance yet on behalf of Ex, so we’re unsure if he has a lawyer or not. Lawyer told me it’d follow basically the same as the first hearing. It’d be a general hearing, with other people having filed their own ex partes for other people.

No extras allowed in the room, face masks required. He’d keep ex away from me. No talking unless answering questions, give succinct answers unless asked to clarify. He’s confident that the ex partes will become permanent restraining orders, but he warned me its not like it is in movies. The restraining orders will go for one year, unless a box is marked saying to re-issue it every year (I marked the box). He also said for every year, Ex has the ability to appeal it and we’d have to go to court all over again.

For now, I’m just… trying to keep my head above water. I’m kinda afraid because I’ve had people message me to tell me they’ve seen my post on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. Some of you sleuths have even found the state I live in. I’m just hoping Ex doesn’t find any of the posts and puts two and two together.

I’m sorry I haven’t responded to every comment or message and that this update is late. I’ve just been trying to keep my son’s life as normal as possible. It breaks my heart when he asks when we’re going home or where “Papa” is. He just knows we’re having a long sleepover with his Mimi.

He’s loving having pets around, though. We weren’t allowed to have animals at my house, so the fact that my mom has a dog and a couple cats, he’s excited. I’ve warned his daycare about Ex. Most of my family and friends are aware there’s a serious situation, but not details.

Idk. It’s been a long week. I’m exhausted. I keep looking over my shoulder and I’ve made my mom buy extra locks for the doors. Some have mentioned cameras for the outside and my mom has already started pricing some. She said her sister (my aunt) has been trying to get her to try RING for months, so this is the kick in the pants she needed. I’m sorry the update is late. Still feels surreal, but I have to just keep swimming (my son is obsessed with Finding Nemo).

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

TheBaddestPatsy −  Wow your family is stellar, and you made quick, decisive and correct action when it really came down to it. You and your kid are gonna be fine!

[Reddit User] −  No matter what happens, please look after yourself and your son.. You’ll get through this.

BumpyFourWheel −  Well done OP! You’ve handled this all so well and it will be over soon! I think it is probably a good idea to have the police presence when your brothers move you out – that way he won’t be able to try anything or manipulate you! You’re taking control and it’s wonderful to hear!

kennabanananana −  Be aware: contact through third parties with the intent of them contacting you VIOLATES the ex partes in most places and it 100% violates the injunction everywhere. Third party contact once he’s been served needs to be documented and submitted to the court and handed to the police. I used to work as a victim advocate and I saw this a lot in DV situations where the abuser went to jail for violating the injunction through third party contact once they had been served.

Aeroy −  Say you went out of state to cool off. Give him the fake location. He will “follow” you there and you have the whole day to move out your stuff.

recoveringbuthappy −  You may be able to get a pro bono lawyer. I got a protective order against my ex and the organization that I had been using for domestic violence counseling provided one for me. Anyway, I’m sorry for what you’re going through. I’m glad that you and your son are both safe.

hungrytatertot −  If he’s EVER been to your mum’s house, tell her to change all of the locks, and also tell the police he might find out you’re there. He WILL try to come around and come in to look for you. Tell her not to let him.

If she sees him on the street, call the police IMMEDIATELY.Document every single interaction you have with him, be careful which friends you trust right now, as if they’re mutual friends one of them WILL tell him where you are and he’ll try to harm you and/or your child.

When you leave the house to go anywhere, share your location with your mum/one of your brothers, so if he finds you when you’re out and tries something, a family member knows where you are at all times. Come up with a safe word to text your family so they can call the police straight away and tell them your live location if necessary.

Do not go to any places where you know he might be. Do not engage with his friends or his family. Do not put your location on social media or post any photos that one would be able to tell where you are. Better yet, do not post on social media, if he really wants to find you he’ll use your posts to try and decipher your location.

If you have any bank accounts he has access to, take all of your money out, and if you left any of your cards in the house where he’s staying, call your bank and report your cards as lost so they block it and he doesn’t steal your money.

This may seem excessive, but trust me, when a person reveals themselves to be abusive like this, you have to take every precaution that you can to keep yourself safe, especially when there is a child involved. Please, please, please be safe.

Edit: thank you for the award, kind stranger! Also, if I left anything out, please respond to this, I just want OP to be safe and not be where I was a few years back 🙂

Competitive_Tea2413 −  With your things, the police will give you a safe escort to collect them, just let them know that you are leaving a domestic violence situation . Make sure you bring a truck & some big strong men to help you.

Take photographs of everything so he can’t destroy the place & blame you. After he goes, pay a cleaning crew to clean the place for a walk through & make sure video is done so you get your security deposit back. He has made your living situation untenable .

Send him a final text. Make it clear & precise. Tell him your relationship is over permanently , not negotiable. You do not ever want him to contact you or try to see you. Any further texts , unwanted visits or other contact will be considered harassment/stalking & will be referred to the police.

Let your sons school/ daycare know what is going on. Give them a photo of him & tell them they should never hand your son over & call the police if he shows up. Then ghost him on all social media. Keep yourself safe & don’t go anywhere alone for a few months. Learn some self defence, it is really empowering.

Despite a protection order in place, my ex husband stalked me for a year after we separated, I called the police every time & was always told there was nothing they could do unless there were witnesses to prove it. Narcissists ALWAYS gaslight, minimise, trivialise and use any and all tactics of emotional blackmail, FOG (Fear, Obligation & Guilt) to control you & keep you tied to them.

He’s a Psyco, he was going to gash your arm open, dig around for your implant & rip it out (scar tissue forms around them they are much harder to get out than put in, I’ve got a 2.5 cm scar from where mine was removed. This man has shown you who he really is & that is an irrational, aggressive , person who is willing to physically damage you to get his way.. Believe him, He Is Dangerous.

Leonelle07 −  Thank you for the update. I’m glad you and your son are safe. You did good.

ozzyosborn687 −  If you are wondering why your original post got removed it is probably because:

1. Your account name doesn’t start with “ThrowRA-” See Rule 4.

2. You didn’t include a TL:DR. See Rule 3.

And this post will probably get removed for the same reason, as well as because of Rule 2, updates can’t be posted within 2 days of the original post. Sorry, not trying to be a Negative Nancy. Just trying to be informative.

This story is a powerful reminder of the importance of listening to our instincts and seeking help in times of danger. It also highlights the strength that family and community can provide during crises. How would you handle such a situation, and what advice would you give to someone facing a similar ordeal? Share your thoughts and support below.