Divorce on table because husband and I cant agree on baby’s name

A Reddit user (23F) shares her frustration and heartbreak over her husband’s desire to name their baby after his ex-girlfriend. The couple, married for two years, has been discussing names for their baby girl, but her husband insists on naming her after a woman he dated for a long time and loved deeply.

This choice brings up unresolved feelings of insecurity, especially since the ex was a source of tension early in their relationship. The Redditor wonders if this is a sign that her husband is still in love with his ex or if it’s just an insensitive choice. Read the original story below…

‘ Divorce on table because husband and I cant agree on baby’s name’

This title might look funny but its an actual problem between me (23F) and my husband (24M). We’ve been dating for a year, been married for 2 years. I got pregnant like 7 months ago so recently we started discussing name for the baby.

Ever since we found out its gonna be a girl my husband wants to name it like his exes name. Its not any ex but the one he dated for long period of time and loved the most. In the beginning of our relationship we had may problems because of her but she moved away so the problems went away.

He really loved her and he never hid that from me but I thought it was over once she moved away. Now he made it clear that he wants the baby to have that name and I can name the second child.

When I asked him why does he want that name so badly he said just because he and his ex didnt work out doesnt mean he doesnt want something to keep reminding him of her. He doesnt understand how much its affecting me and keeps saying its just the hormones. Is he still in love with the ex or its normal that he wants to name OUR child like that..

Check out how the community responded:

Tttapir −  This is insane.

klleah −  When your daughter gets older how do you explain that to her? “Oh honey, daddy wanted to name you after an ex girlfriend because even though things didn’t work out with them, that doesn’t mean he didn’t want to be reminded of her every single day.”. I mean really?

That’s why you keep a card or maybe a picture? Like nothing is more creepy than this. I don’t know if he’s still in love with her and just settled with you, or if he is just really stupid. To blame it on your hormones is a joke.

tgiTacks −  Names of exes, school bullies, disliked coworkers, etc, are all, by default, off the table.. He’s being wildly unreasonable.

CarpeCyprinidae −  *I read the title* “Thats ridiculous. There’s no way it can be right to divorce over a child’s name unless he wanted to name it Osama or Adolf”. *I read the posting* “Yup. If you dont get your own way on this you divorce him. There’s no way that marriage can be saved after this”

Shore16 −  Tell him that you want to name your second child after one of your previous f**k buddies because the s** was so good you just want to be reminded of it even though things didn’t work out. Like seriously what the f**k is he thinking. I don’t know your husband’s feelings towards his ex but it’s not normal.

HappyHolidays666 −  tell him to change his own name if he’s that obsessed

Anthrolologist −  abandon ship this dude’s a complete weirdo

Spoonbills −  I’m more concerned about his lack of respect for you as his partner, his number one, his wife. You might try relationship counseling but I suspect his disrespect extends beyond the baby naming issue.

Pers14 −  Hi Op! When my mom was pregnant with me, my dad was FIXED on this one name. My mom found it strange because he was never that interested in anything, and wasn’t super gung-ho daddy-to-be. My mom preferred another name, but she was touched by his insistence and acquiesced to his pick.

It came out when I was very little that the name he chose was the name of the “one that got away”, a girl he dated and she dumped him. He remained hooked on her many years later. He would throw her name in my mom’s face when they fought as years went on. Over time, it became less of a “thing”, but I know she’s not fond of the name. I’m ambivalent. I think my dad was a fool.

RenaEufemia −  I’m the oldest, my mom really wanted to name me after her Aunt who passed away, Carmen. My dad insisted on naming me after a famous song at the time. He was adamant that he wanted that name. My mom, being a young girl, madly in love with my dad gave in.

A few weeks after I was born, they took me to visit my grandma, my dad’s mother. She asked what is the baby’s name. My mom told her and my grandmas face went white and was in shock. She then told my mom, that was my dad’s childhood sweethearts name, the one that he loved and the one that got away.

After that my mother always called me a different version of that name. When I was a teenager I found out where my name came from. The feeling of anger, hurt and just flat out resentment towards my dad, has NEVER gone away. It’s also, creeped me the f**k out! I had the name of some girl he was with, ewwwww!!!!!!

So disrespectful to my mother, and as a teen to know your dad doesn’t love your mother!?! It really messed me up for a long time. He laughed, and said my mom was being crazy and played it off like no big deal. Do NOT name any of your child after an ex.. – a child named after an ex.

Do you think the husband’s desire to name their child after his ex is a harmless gesture, or does it show unresolved feelings for her? How should the Redditor approach this situation to have her feelings understood and respected? Would you be able to let go of this issue for the sake of the child, or would it be a deal-breaker? Share your thoughts below!