My (26F) boyfriend (27M) ran off in the middle of the night with our newborn son (2 weeks M)

A Redditor (26F) shares a harrowing story: her boyfriend (27M) had a paranoid mental break two weeks after the birth of their son, leading to concerning behaviors, including taking the newborn in the middle of the night. Now living in a hotel for safety, she’s seeking advice on protecting her baby while addressing her boyfriend’s paranoia and ensuring their safety.

‘ My (26F) boyfriend (27M) ran off in the middle of the night with our newborn son (2 weeks M)’

First time posting, on mobile. Sorry this is long. As title says, we have a newborn son who is two weeks old. To recap the period leading up to this event: We had the baby on a Thursday and came home on Saturday. Roses. Everything was absolutely beautiful. Our relationship had never been stronger and we were so so happy. More in love with each other and with the little one then we thought possible. On Sunday we decided to pop a bottle of champagne. I have one glass and he continues saying “we can get drunk now!”

I obviously didn’t want to get drunk but did not discourage him since we hadn’t drank in months (we used to drink together nightly). He ended up quite belligerent by the end of the night and it resulted in tears on my end since he was acting out of character. The next morning he sincerely apologized and said that if he ever got drunk like that again, he would stop drinking.

That evening rolls around and we have a glass of wine with dinner. I did not want another but he continued to finish the bottle, and another. Drunk again, more tears. I explain to him (while he was drunk) the conversation we had the night prior about him not doing this and he broke down and came to bed and promised not to again.

After a week of being home, my mother begins to travel to us (we live in CO, she lives in NY) to visit us for two weeks to help get settled with the baby. This visit has been planned for 4 months and was not a surprise. In the two days she is traveling, my boyfriend begins to transition from happy new father to protective new father. It is a difference but he is very confident in his new role and feels that his life has changed and he is very happy.

My mother arrives at 8AM on a Monday and proceeds to say hi to us (although quite exhausted) and goes to sit on our porch to decompress after 48 hours of travel. My boyfriend comes to me and says that she was disrespectful when she arrived. I question him and say, I’m pretty sure she’s just tired, let’s let her rest and then we can all have a conversation about boundaries and more once she’s rested. He agreed and moved on with the morning. I didn’t think anything else of it.

At around 9:30AM (90 minutes after her arrival), she passes him in the kitchen and he raises his voice and exclaims to her about how she “will not be disrespectful of him in his house” and more. I begin to bawl and beg him to stop. My mother (completely taken back) goes outside crying. My boyfriend is livid, I can see it in his eyes. I try to calm him down and go to check on my mother, who I then try to calm down.

He comes outside and asks to speak to her and I leave them alone (hindsight, should not have done this) and after about 1 minute, my mom comes back inside yelling and crying “I’m done, I’m done” and tells me she is going to go back home. I try to speak to both of them but I can’t stop crying (had a baby 10 days ago at this point). My mother packs up to leave and does.

My boyfriend thinks he has done the right thing and protected his family unit. I am devastated that my mom is gone as I wanted her help and guidance with the newborn. He is confident in his decision. In the next two days this confidence does not wane, and he says he “had to hurt me in this situation to maintain his family.”

We went to bed around 11. We had argued some earlier in the evening but when bedtime rolled around we were actually on good terms and I went to sleep pretty hard because of that. I wake up to a stranger shouting my name, and I look over and the baby is not in his bed. I run out and a policeman is inside. The shower is running. The door is open.

The policeman informs me that my boyfriend took the baby and ran out of our apartment building and to a house up the street and rang their doorbell. The officer asked me to come with him and he took me to the house where my boyfriend went. There were many officers outside asking me questions about different things.

The consensus was that my boyfriend thought someone was going to k*ll him so he took the baby and ran. The officers took me inside the house, gave me the baby and then let me know they were taking my boyfriend to the hospital for an evaluation. The officers took me to a hotel for safety.

The hospital ruled the case a “mental break” and that he was fine. He seemed fine when I picked him up and we went home. As the day went on he got more and more paranoid, so I called the police when he went to work. He insisted that I had bugged the apartment, that the neighbors were in on it, that my mom called our pediatrician, and more. The police suggested for us to separate for the evening and he stayed home and the baby and I are in a hotel again.

What should I do now? He is continually paranoid now. I have a baby to protect. I don’t feel he is being rational in our home. Please help. Thank you for reading this.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

curiousdryad −  He should be mentally evaluated, may have some type of mental disorder which untreated could get worse. I don’t want to defend the guy but this is so weird and extreme and his actions are so off he doesn’t seem there. Mostly at that age mental health stuff really starts to become apparent.

[Reddit User] −  Do not go back to your house alone with him and the baby. Call your mom. Get help. He needs to be evaluated and you need to protect yourself and your child, he’s not stable. Do you have any friends or other family you can stay with until he is evaluated and treated? I’m scared for you, so please please, contact your mom.

jayxon-x −  Your bf is exhibiting symptoms of paranoid schizophrenia and should see a psychiatrist. I don’t know how the hospital was not able to see that earlier but the classic symptoms are there. For you & your baby’s safety, request a psychiatric evaluation on him before you meet.

pandabearlover03 −  Nurse here, sounds like a triggered psychotic episode with paranoia/halluconations/irrational thought process maybe alcohol induced? But he needs help and hospitalization in a mental health unit for evaluation for sure or even ER as this is an off the wall response. Definetly is unsafe for you and the baby obviously. Police may need to file an involuntary form if he is not agreeable to seek treatment if u feel like hes a threat.

DeannaOfTroi −  OP, where in Colorado are you? I’m a crisis counselor based in the Denver area and I might be able to help you. I have a resources for Denver and Pueblo areas. Please DM me if you need info. You can also call the crisis line for SafeHouse Denver. They can give you lots of resources and maybe help you find space in a domestic violence shelter: 303-318-9989. Be safe, OP! Feel free to message me if you need anything or just need to talk.

[Reddit User] −  Sounds like he needs to be committed and get serious help. His behaviour is frightening.

abeth-zuppa −  While not as common as in postpartum mothers, it’s possible for fathers to experience postpartum mood disorders (like depression, anxiety, and psychosis). It’s a big change into the role of being a parent, and the stress can trigger changes in a person with or without an underlying mental illness.

That being said, it’s hard to tell if this is a one-off incident that could be remedied with some space between the two of you, mental health support, and a return to routine, or if this is a first-episode of a more serious problem. As of right now, with how he has already taken the baby and the paranoia is continuing, this could be a risk to your safety and your baby’s.

Call the police and/or your local hospital. Depending on your state’s laws, your BF may be involuntarily committed to an inpatient psych unit for evaluation and stabilization due to risk of harm to self or others. Get a restraining order if needed to keep you and baby safe for now.

d0n7w0rry4b0u717 −  Your boyfriend needs to spend some time in a mental hospital. He is not well and he needs professional help. It’s your call about whether or not you want to maintain your relationship with him but you need to move away from him (at least until he gets help and is issues are stabilized with medication or whatever). He’s a danger to your child. Get out as soon as possible.

rpgk −  Yeah he definitly needs to be committed. He is experiencing some serious paranoia and you and your baby could be in danger because of it. You should keep away from him until he gets help, for the safety of you and the child.

Desert_Fairy −  Your boyfriend is having a psychotic break. He was doing better because the hospital probably medicated him.. He needs to be evaluated. If he refuses evaluation you should get a restraining order and keep him away from you and your child. Get to your parents if you can.